The Seventh Commandment

Look at a beautiful painting and admire the color scheme, the graceful lines, the depth and perspective.  The masterful strokes of the artist seem to come alive.  Indeed the painting is an artistic gem to behold.  It is a classic.  But then, someone soils the painting, mars it and discolors it.  The painting, defaced and blemished, now becomes something ugly and distorted.

Sex, as God planned it, was meant to be a very beautiful picture.  But with the rebellion of Adam and Eve, sex too, became distorted and blemished.  When they fell from God’s grace, the first man and woman became confused about many of the natural beauties and marvels God had prepared for them.  It is like the TV picture that goes out of focus and distorts everything.

One of the many consequences of man’s sin became the distortion of the purpose and deep meaning of sex.  As a result, sex became both a topic and an act to be abused and misused.  This is why God gave us the Seventh Commandment:

You shall not commit adultery.

Sex, the Highest Expression of Love

In discussing the Seventh Commandment, we must look upon it from a mature point of view, and not something to make jokes about.

God gives us an appetite for everything in life.  We have an appetite for food, for reading a good book, seeing a good movie or TV show, going on an excursion or picnic, and a host of other enjoyable things.  But in each case, there are certain rules and regulations that govern how we accomplish these things.

God also gave man and woman feelings toward each other.  If they feel they love each other enough to want to go down life’s path together, they ask God’s blessings through the Church and the Sacrament of Holy Marriage.  Then, with the Church’s blessings, a man and woman express their love for each other in the highest form by giving their spiritual and physical love to each other fully and completely.  When God created Adam and Eve and placed them in the world, He told them they should multiply and take dominion over all creation.  If they were to do so, there had to be a physical contact to bring this about.  This union was and is until today, the physical and spiritual love between a man and woman.  But in order for the physical and spiritual union to have God’s blessings, the couple must be married in the Church.  This privilege is reserved only for those who seek and receive God’s blessing.  If the privilege is taken without God’s blessing, then the Seventh Commandment is violated and it becomes a grave sin.

Adultery and Fornication

If and when a married person uses the God-given privilege of conjugal union with someone other than the husband or wife, this sin is called Adultery.  On the other hand, if a man and woman, or a boy and girl who are not married, take advantage of the God-given privilege of conjugal union, they are committing the sin of Fornication.

Adultery is committed when a married person expresses conjugal love with someone other than husband or wife.

Fornication is committed when unmarried persons express conjugal love.

These Are Different Times

“We are living in a society where people no longer regard adultery and fornication sinful and unlawful.”  These are different times.  We have broken out of the puritan and Victorian age.”  “If two people love each other deeply, they should be able to live together and express their conjugal love.”  These are but a few of the arguments given to take license for free love.  And there is no doubt that their arguments can be very convincing at times.  But there are several things which must be taken under serious consideration.

To be sure, we are living in a society that appears to be more free.  Pornography in books, movies, and TV shows heighten all the more the appearance.  But things are not always as they appear.  Human beings are not robots, animals nor objects.  Human beings have feelings that are sensitive and susceptible to traumatic experiences.  Human beings, by nature, also seek security, stability and dependability.  No matter how convincing that arguments for a more realistic attitude towards premarital sex and sex without marriage are, there is no guarantee that you will have lasting happiness.  Free love and free sex carry no bond of loyalty; no common denominator of trust; and no sense of security.

A multitude of books are written about the “new morality.”  “Our young people have been liberated,” they cry out.  “No more restrictions.” “No more inhibitions.”  “Live the way you want.”  One is almost tempted to believe there is no hell to be paid.  But there is!  And that hell begins here on earth!

Conscience is a strange thing.  We can chain it down in the cellar of our soul, hoping its outcries will not be heard.  But somehow, sooner or later, the outcries of our conscience drift up, clear and piercing.  Science and technology have devised a chamber which is almost 100% soundproof.  But who can come up with a chamber that will keep a guilty conscience from renting havoc upon us?

Of course you want to be popular.  You want to be part of the group.  You want to belong.  You want to have friends and you want to have a good time.  And you are entitled to all of these, because these are some of the best years of your life.  But what price are you willing to pay?  Your honor?  Your good name?  Your personality?  Your identity?  What are you willing to do?  Give up an intimacy that no longer remains your personal gift?  Put health and reputation on the line just for the sake of recognition and friendship?  Will you feel the same way one year from now?  Five years from now?  Or will your moral values change?  What price are you willing to pay?

We may live in a different society and in different times, but morals and our relationship with God never change.  God tells us through the Bible and His Holy Church that premarital sex and sex out of marriage are sinful.

You shall not commit adultery.

God’s law is fixed and cannot be tampered with nor altered, nor weakened to suit our permissive and promiscuous desires for a “new morality.”  God’s word is not subject to public opinion.  God’s will is not subject to a plebiscite acceptance.  God’s salvation is not subject to a vote of confidence.  God’s word is Truth whether we believe it or not.

The Ten Commandments are eternal, unalterable laws of God, regardless of how many times people get together and attempt to analyze them biologically, sociologically and psychologically.  God tells us we should build up a resistance from temptations.  If society has become lax, this is not God’s fault, this is our fault.

The Christian Challenge

The real Christian challenge is to live among our friends and neighbors and still hold fast to our moral principles.  We must live a life prescribed by our Lord, and still be considered one of the group: for what we are, not what others want us to be!  Surely no one wishes to be left out.  You are no different.

You must let your friends know how you feel about moral issues.  Not in a harsh, embarrassing way.  You must help them understand you wish to have their friendship and fellowship, however not at the expense of compromising your morals and principles.  Jesus said, “Your light must shine in the sight of people, so that seeing your good works, they may give praise to your Father in heaven.”  (Matthew 5:16)

Conclusion

There is one more dimension of the Seventh Commandment we have not touched upon yet: off-color or dirty jokes.

Every joke has a specific purpose.  If it is a humorous joke, it has as its purpose to entertain us and to make us laugh.  If it is an off-color or dirty joke, it too, has a specific purpose.  Its purpose is to arouse and excite both the one who is narrating it, as well as those who listen.  Almost every off-color or dirty joke describes or relates something pertaining to the sex act.  As these events and actions are described, they are projected on an invisible screen in our minds.

In His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “You have learned how it was said: ‘You must not commit adultery.’  But I say this to you: if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:27-28)  (Needless to say, the same view holds true if a woman looks at a man in lust.)

If we tell off-color or dirty jokes or listen to them; if we are entertained by pornography, in books, magazines, movies, and TV shows, then we are committing the sin of the heart, because the Seventh Commandment says,

You shall not commit adultery.
 

* adapted from Teenage Ten Commandments (Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, 1989)
by Rev. Fr. George Nicozisin