The Truth Beyond St. Valentine's Day
by V. Rev. Archimandrite Joseph (Morris), National A.R.O.Y. Spiritual Advisor (1995-2000)

Every year around February 14, there is a flurry of youthful and romantic activity relating to St. Valentine’s Day.  Red hearts will appear in all of the stores and florist shops.  Everyone will be persuaded to show that “special someone” just how much he/she might be.  However, beyond all of the playful and romantic fluff is the deeper truth that man, created in the image of God, is male and female.  That attraction that exists between men and women was given by God.  That attraction and delight is not a dead end, it is certainly not all there is to human sexuality.  There is a bigger picture.

In our Orthodox way of thinking and living, all things point to God.  This romantic love, and the delight and joy that God gives to men and women, is given in order to create families, where human beings can be raised and nurtured in a safe environment.  One could say that the pleasure given in sexual intimacy is a kind of reward that God gives to parents whose love is real enough that they give themselves to one another and to God, and that union is blessed, energized, and actualized by the Sacrament of Marriage.  Outside of this sacrament context, romantic love and sexual intimacy is distorted, a dead end, and a mere skeleton of what God intends.  The Orthodox marriage and family life is the fundamental unit of the Church.  St. John the Golden-mouth says that “even in a pagan marriage where there is total self-giving, there you find the last remnant of paradise on Earth.”

So, I would challenge you in the month of February when the world of commerce is underscoring the erotic dimension of our humanity, look beyond all the fun to the deeper reason that we are created male and female.  Realize that your romantic interests have a very practical long-term goal as well as an eternal dimension.  Think about the kind of person you would marry before the passions are ignited.  Is the kind of person to whom you are attracted honest, righteous and self-giving in his/her way of living?  Second, is this person and Orthodox who shares your Orthodox values and way of life, or is this person open to becoming Orthodox?  It is true that mixed marriages do sometimes lead the non-Orthodox spouse into the Church.  However, the overwhelming statistical reality is that the majority of such marriages lead the Orthodox spouses to excommunicating themselves from the Church.  Third, of the person you might choose to marry is not Orthodox, will the person you marry be willing to demonstrate their love by doing what it takes to all you to marry in the Orthodox Church?  While less than ideal, this will at least not break your communion with the Church.

Having said all of this, that means A.R.O.Y. has a vital role to play in providing a wholesome, safe and Orthodox environment in which to hold social gatherings in which Orthodox youth in our Romanian Orthodox Episcopate can meet one another.  A.R.O.Y. has as its function the training of tomorrow’s leaders in the Episcopate and the parish community.  Sure, A.R.O.Y. is more than a club, it is an arm of the Church, and yes, we need to focus more on our Orthodox identity, spirituality and mission, but even a dance is more than a dance, and his its place and function in our Orthodox life when the participants look to the broader Orthodox picture, and when God and His Holy Orthodox Church are first.

* from The A.R.O.Y. Newsletter, February 1996